A lot of time has passed since then. We drifted apart for a little while after that happened but now it’s safe to say that we’re closer than we’ve ever been. And lately, I’ve started thinking of her as more than my best friend. I keep having these dreams of kissing her, like that’s the whole dream. Or sometimes she looks at me and I want to just do it as a matter of instinct, and have to stop myself.

Here’s why this is bad – I’m leaving for college in two months, and she’s two years younger than I am. The school I’m going to is within driving distance and it’s also in a major metropolitan area with trains/whatnot so I’m probably going to be back home every weekend and she’s already talked about how much she’s going to visit me next year. Still, the separation that college creates is pretty definite, and it seems like I’m trapped in a situation in which any outcome is shitty – either I have to be the better man and hold my tongue which sucks for me, or I reveal my feelings and get turned down which sucks for both of us, or I reveal my feelings and get the same back which is fantastic for two months and then is really shitty afterwards.

I don’t know if our history makes my situation more difficult or makes me less friendzoned. I also don’t know if lately she’s gotten more flirty with me, or if I’m just interpreting the same things in more of a “wishful thinking” way. She’s constantly giving me random hugs, cuddling with me when we watch TV, changing her name in my phone to “(her name) my lover,” being generally flirtatious. One time I came over to her house at about 10:30 PM and she was in a shirt and spandex, and she said something along the lines of “You know I was gonna put on pants, but then I was like  he’s harmless,’ so I didn’t and I hope you’re cool with that.” Like have I just been friendzoned that hard?

Anyway, I’m not sure what out of that barrage of information can be “given advice” about, but I’d appreciate any input you have.

In hindsight, I feel as though I should have stood up for her more directly. I should have directed comments to her friend, telling him to stop but in a light way, not make it serious but show that I was there for her. In the moment, I still felt like very much the outsider and was confused, and I wasn’t certain if I even had the right to step in between something that involved her and close friends. Now, though, I feel as though she and her friends will get the idea that I can’t defend her. I came away from it feeling like less of a man. Am I justified in this? What do all of you think?

I also have to say that my girlfriend is very outspoken. She can handle herself for sure, and at no time was she at the mercy of her friend’s words. It’s just the fact that she was getting flustered by them that concerned me.

This friendship began to progress much more rapidly. We saw each other more often and began to spend more time just the two of us together. For the record, everybody thought I had feelings for her when I legitimately didn’t. Well, one day, something happens and I get jealous. I realize that I do like her, and that is what caused my jealousy.

Not wanting to stir any drama (since we are in the same general group of friends), I decide to suppress it, to sweep it under the rug. Well, some subtle actions of mine lead her to ask me if I had feelings for her, to which I reply “we can’t have this conversation”.

Yesterday, she told me that she has had feelings for me since the beginning of summer. I don’t know what to do, I can’t wrap my head around the fact that she can like two guys simultaneously. She feels guilty because we have feelings for each other, and yet she cannot do anything about it…I hope I was coherent, this situation just boggles my mind.

Anyway long story short my girlfriend found out I had been looking at some of these things and it made her extremely upset. To the point where I’m fairly certain she doesn’t trust me at all. She thinks I lied to her, and that I would rather be with other girls.

To give an example, whenever we drive or walk by a pretty girl, she looks at me to see if I’m looking. It’s to the point where if I see a pretty girl I just look away because I know my girlfriend just think I’m checking her out. Even if I mention that I looked away because I didn’t want her to get mad she’ll accuse me of thinking the girl is pretty

I enjoy looking at other girls because girls are just nice-looking to me  and I enjoy looking at the pretty ones. Am I a bad person? What is the best way to stop? Is my girlfriend being a little crazy/insecure? How can I explain this to her without having her flip out on me every single time the subject of other girls comes up?

I can’t just stop being attracted to other girls and thinking they’re pretty, I’m only human, but what can I do to let her knows that I love her and that other girls don’t mean anything to me, even though I will admit that there are other pretty girls besides her on this planet.

Also I’m mainly talking about just seeing girls on the street and randomly on the internet. I don’t really go looking for that stuff anymore. Having this much self control at 25 years old is annoying as shit too, because sometimes I just wanna watch porn and jerk it when she’s not around but I don’t want to feel bad.

I hear some guys with girlfriends who are okay with them watching porn…how do you manage to pull that one off?

Honestly if my girlfriend watched guy porn I wouldn’t give a fuck. As long as she’s faithful to me and loves me more than anyone else I could give half a damn, but she is different

I think other girls are pretty, but don’t know how to tell my girlfriend that I enjoy looking at pretty girls. I like looking at them just like any guy, but i LOVE my girlfriend.

Countless of million dollars wedding end up in divorce, because they are doing it for the  wrong reason. You have people that puts a lot of hours and money planning their wedding and don’t even put that much effort in their relationship.

Moral of the story is, Money doesn’t make a marriage last.

I have a lot of single friends, and they often complain about the dating scene. Is there a place where all the single people gather? Church used to be a good place to meet someone, but most of the time that person turns out to be real fake.

In this modern day, online dating is a popular way of finding one’s ideal match. Men and Women of today spend most of their time working, so they do not go out very often to socialize since they are more concerned about their career. But now they can easily find a date in online dating sites without having to leave home.

As a working person visiting a dating site maybe the ideal choice for you to get to know someone and build a relationship with that person. However, online dating means that you only communicate with your companion via the internet; you don’t meet that person directly.

Whenever I get asked by a close friend or buddy of mine to give them some pointers or advice on how to approach women, one of the first questions I will ask is… “Are you comfortable with rejection?” Now, when I ask a question like that, I usually already know what the response is going to be. And I also usually get met with a puzzled look on their face. The reason why I ask this question is, because most men that do not have much success with approaching women are not comfortable with rejection.

What’s your confidence level when it comes to dealing with someone in a dating relationship? For many people just getting through their previous relationship is rough. You have to ask yourself are you ready to deal with someone on that emotional level again. One important question you have to ask yourself, are you confident enough in yourself that any let down or rejection during your foray into dating will not damage your emotional state.

It will be hard not to compare anyone you date to your ex. It will make it even more difficult if that someone you are dating seems to do some of the things that your ex used to do that drove you crazy. Realize that most of the time they will be unaware that they are doing something that reminds you of your ex. If you really like this new person in your life give them a chance, because what you see and think may not be what they intend for you to see and think. It is hard for them to overcome the demons of your past relationship if you do not give them that chance.

Don’t be afraid to enter into the dating world after your past relationship, but at the same time you need to know who you are and have the confidence to find what you are comfortable with when it comes to dating. Trust yourself to make the right choice and chances are you will thrive as you begin your new life dating after fail past relationship.

It is always good to give every relationship at least a second chance, though a third and a fourth chance is not mandatory. But when you honestly know it is worth saving, and then by all means try to do so. Any fight just could be a miscommunication, a problem due to the longevity of the relationship, or a lack of understanding and patience. Do not ever act like a kid, act your age and do not let childish issues run havoc. Who are we that cannot forgive? That we cannot give other people second chances?

First, take a good hard look in the mirror. You must ask yourself what is wrong with the relationship, how do you contribute personally to these problems, and most importantly, would it be wisest to save the relationship, or to let it go? Be as honest with yourself as possible. It will hurt, unfortunately, but once you have narrowed down the issues in your head and heart, you can then move to addressing them with a higher rate of success.

The key to saving a relationship is to work on it when you have both cooled down. Think it over when emotions are not high, when time has at least given you the time to think things over. And lastly, saving a relationship is not a one way street. Both of you must keep fighting for the relationship and for the fire to keep burning.

It may boil down to seeking outside consultation. In fact, it’s recommended. Having a third party moderate your discussions and negotiations can be very helpful. With an objective, third party steering the discussion, often issues that neither one of you realized were there will suddenly come to light. Once the problems are out there, you can go about the job of fixing them constructively.

Congratulations to the newly weds. The marriage ceremony uniting Danise St-Louis and Rodney Charite took place on Sunday August 22, 2010 at 17:00 in the Fort Lauderdale Seventh Day Adventist Church.

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