He had a bad experience with an ex that put him off anything having to do with s&m for a while, even the ‘innocent’ stuff. He’s gotten to the point that he trusts me enough now to share it with me, and let me restrain and blindfold him, and he finally realized(or admitted?) that he absolutely LOVES it. We’ve tried it once so far and he’s been requesting it ever since, coming up with new ideas and things he wants me to do.

I don’t mind doing it. In fact I’m fairly good at it because I’ve been in dominant/submissive relationships before and I know how to handle it, so he’s in good hands. I’m also really glad he trusts me enough to share it with me.

I’m more submissive than dominant, but I don’t mind being dominant. I still get wet and I still enjoy it. It’s nice to be in control every once in a while; but for some reason, I’m really put off by him wanting to be submissive – to the point that I just don’t want to do it. This has never happened with anyone I’ve been dominant with before.

It’s not like he’s requesting Cleveland steamers or anything. Compared to what I’ve seen and experienced, what he wants is pretty tame. I would like to do it for him and make him feel happy and wanted,but the mere mention of it bothers me to the point that I don’t want to do it.

I do plan to talk to him about it, but I have no idea what to say or how to approach it without making him feel embarrassed, unwanted, or bad about what he likes and wants.

I don’t mean oral sex..and I don’t mean talking dirty either.

The other night the guy I’m dating stuck his tongue in my ear…At first all I could think was, “what the fuck are you doing? How do you know if my ears are clean?” Thankfully they are clean, so I let him keep going…and oh my god I felt like I was going to cum.

I literally had the same feelings from his tongue fucking my ear as I do when he licks my clit…

Does anyone else experience this the same way I do? How the hell does this turn me on so much if it’s not a primary erogenous zone? No idea…

This is awesome! Love reading all the responses…I just have to say to all of you that love kissing and licking of the ears…I know that’s great, but seriously try the tongue in the ear. Its like a new level of pleasure!

So, my boyfriend and I have a pretty great sex life. We’ve worked a lot on communication and it’s significantly improved things in all aspects of our relationship, and especially sex. Except with this issue, because I’m at a loss here.

We explored the idea of anal for a while and then after a couple of attempts, we did it and it was awesome. We also bought a vibrating toy and some lube that he’s used on me before. (He said in the future maybe he’d let me use it on him too).

Anyway, as much as he’s turned on by the thought of anal, he won’t put his fingers (except to quickly apply lube) or mouth anywhere near there. I can understand why he doesn’t want to put his tongue there (though I love rim jobs, womp womp) and never made any comments when he said it was kinda gross, but fingers? I feel like that’s kind of a standard part of arousal.

We were going to have anal again and he went straight for the toy. I asked him if he’d just put some lube on his finger and rub the outside (since that area is really sensitive and it turns me on) and he was like…err…can I just use the toy?

That whole exchange turned me off to anal, and I didn’t wanna do it anymore so we had regular sex instead. I tried not to act huffy though.

Is there anything I can say to him? I keep very very clean down there and would never expect him to do anything if I hadn’t just gotten out of the shower. I feel like this is very subjective, so if he just thinks it’s gross, then I can’t convince him it’s NOT gross to shove his fingers/tongue in my asshole. I don’t think he’d let me put my fingers near his butt either. But either way, the fact that he’s semi-grossed out by it makes me not wanna do it even though I enjoy it because god forbid if there was a minor accident, I think I’d be too embarrassed to ever continue.

A lot of time has passed since then. We drifted apart for a little while after that happened but now it’s safe to say that we’re closer than we’ve ever been. And lately, I’ve started thinking of her as more than my best friend. I keep having these dreams of kissing her, like that’s the whole dream. Or sometimes she looks at me and I want to just do it as a matter of instinct, and have to stop myself.

Here’s why this is bad – I’m leaving for college in two months, and she’s two years younger than I am. The school I’m going to is within driving distance and it’s also in a major metropolitan area with trains/whatnot so I’m probably going to be back home every weekend and she’s already talked about how much she’s going to visit me next year. Still, the separation that college creates is pretty definite, and it seems like I’m trapped in a situation in which any outcome is shitty – either I have to be the better man and hold my tongue which sucks for me, or I reveal my feelings and get turned down which sucks for both of us, or I reveal my feelings and get the same back which is fantastic for two months and then is really shitty afterwards.

I don’t know if our history makes my situation more difficult or makes me less friendzoned. I also don’t know if lately she’s gotten more flirty with me, or if I’m just interpreting the same things in more of a “wishful thinking” way. She’s constantly giving me random hugs, cuddling with me when we watch TV, changing her name in my phone to “(her name) my lover,” being generally flirtatious. One time I came over to her house at about 10:30 PM and she was in a shirt and spandex, and she said something along the lines of “You know I was gonna put on pants, but then I was like  he’s harmless,’ so I didn’t and I hope you’re cool with that.” Like have I just been friendzoned that hard?

Anyway, I’m not sure what out of that barrage of information can be “given advice” about, but I’d appreciate any input you have.

In hindsight, I feel as though I should have stood up for her more directly. I should have directed comments to her friend, telling him to stop but in a light way, not make it serious but show that I was there for her. In the moment, I still felt like very much the outsider and was confused, and I wasn’t certain if I even had the right to step in between something that involved her and close friends. Now, though, I feel as though she and her friends will get the idea that I can’t defend her. I came away from it feeling like less of a man. Am I justified in this? What do all of you think?

I also have to say that my girlfriend is very outspoken. She can handle herself for sure, and at no time was she at the mercy of her friend’s words. It’s just the fact that she was getting flustered by them that concerned me.

I tried doing it with my girlfriend the other day, and my penis head is experiencing some weird pressure and a bit of pain. I’m uncircumcised, so pulling the foreskin back is unnatural for me. Is it the lack of lubricant?

Additionally, a blowjob makes my penis go soft due to the weird pressures, and I can’t urinate with my foreskin pulled back. I’m thinking that I’ve always masturbated with my foreskin not pulled back, so it will just take some time to get used to, with a lot of lube.

This friendship began to progress much more rapidly. We saw each other more often and began to spend more time just the two of us together. For the record, everybody thought I had feelings for her when I legitimately didn’t. Well, one day, something happens and I get jealous. I realize that I do like her, and that is what caused my jealousy.

Not wanting to stir any drama (since we are in the same general group of friends), I decide to suppress it, to sweep it under the rug. Well, some subtle actions of mine lead her to ask me if I had feelings for her, to which I reply “we can’t have this conversation”.

Yesterday, she told me that she has had feelings for me since the beginning of summer. I don’t know what to do, I can’t wrap my head around the fact that she can like two guys simultaneously. She feels guilty because we have feelings for each other, and yet she cannot do anything about it…I hope I was coherent, this situation just boggles my mind.

I’m curious to see how long one should normally wait before shaving again down there. Maybe I’m not doing something right, but I’ve found that I can only shave once a week when the hair gets a little softer and less stubbly. Any sooner while it is stubble, and I get hella bumps and start cutting myself, wind up looking like a slasher movie between my legs.

Granted, I normally used soap, but lurking around two time, I found someone had recommended using conditioner and then deodorant afterward, which I tried for the first time two days ago, and WOW did that work like a charm!

So yea, how often do you ladies shave your precious parts to maintain the optimal smoothness without the bumps and cuts?

They fart, shit, sweat and bleed.

However, I can relate to the not fitting in with stereotypical males. I keep female friends easier, but I think that this is the result of my hobbies more than anything. Men bond over activity, women bond over emotion and personality. My hobbies are largely solitary, but I can listen and express opinion just fine. Hence, women are easier to keep interested.

Was this because my mom raised me, and sports/partying wasn’t really encouraged? I have no idea. But honestly, it doesn’t matter to me. The biggest thing I had to learn was that women are just people.

Equality and honesty should go without saying, regardless of gender.